Don’t Over Analyse Your Next Date

I pay a lot of attention to the comments and feedback that I get from this site, and one of the things that never ceases to surprise me is just how much many readers seem to over-analyse their next date.

They want to know how to do every element. They want to know how to walk, what to say, what to wear, where to go and what to eat. OK, so I’m exadurating a little, but you get the idea.

While I admire these people for wanting everything to go without a hitch on a date, I do also have a serious reservation.

And that it seems some people are taking so much effort to do everything “right” that they aren’t being themselves. And this is such a vital point that many people seem to miss. The goal isn’t for your date to end up thinking that you’re their perfect match when in fact you’ve put it all on.

No, the goal is to effectively show who you are as a person and hope you date likes that. If not, well too bad. Better to be with someone who likes you for who you are rather than who you’re pretending to be.

I always think the same thing abot a job interview. If I go to an interview and don’t get the job, it’s doesn’t worry me. Honestly it doesn’t. How come? Because I probably weouldn’t have been suitable for their job anyway, and I want a job I can enjoy and get my teeth into.

And you need to start thinking the same way with your dates. Aim to find someone who has similar interests and tastes - someone who values you for who you are.

So try worrying less about what to say and what to wear. Try being yourself a little more and stop worrying if you don’t get the second date. If they’re not interested in you as a person then it would never have worked out right anyway.

Don’t focus on getting a second date - focus on getting to know each date well enough that you both know by the end whether a second date is a good idea. Because when it really does happen it can be an amazing feeling.