Keys To Breaking The Ice With A Potential New Date

One of the most difficult things about a new relationship is getting comfortable with each other. Unless you work together or have known each other since childhood, chances are that you will have awkward moments in the beginning of your relationship. Even before you have gone out on that very first date, there is the necessity for small-talk. So, how do you do it?

The first mistake that most people make when talking to a new person is divulging too much personal information. A woman who discusses her “ex” with a man on a first date is danger. Stay away! A man who tells a woman how “good in bed” he is – well not only is he equally dangerous, he’s creepy. Don’t be that person – keep the conversation light and casual.

Another mistake is bringing up subjects that are bound to cause controversy. Religion and politics (unless you are already positive you know the other’s preferences) are taboo subjects in the early part of a relationship. There is no need to start a fight (as women call it) or a debate (as men call it) on the politics of the day. Leave it for another time.

I once had a date who came with a long, written list of questions to ask me. Where did I grow up? Why did it take so long for me to graduate? Why was I not married? The interrogation didn’t last long and nor did our relationship. Don’t question your date about their past or their personal life – it’s rude and disrespectful.

That being said, breaking the ice is not difficult. Show the person your personality. Be fun. Smile. Laugh. More than that, make sure the signals you are sending are positive. If you are slouched back in your chair, with your legs and arms crossed, the signal you are sending is that you are not approachable and that you are challenging your date. On the other hand, if your date is leaning in to you, playing with your coffee cup, or sharing your dessert, the signals are clear.

If you know anything about your date, ask them about it. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves, so let them do all the talking. Everyone also loves a listener, so it’s “win-win” for you! Put a subject on the table and let your date do the work.