For most men, the only times they ever worry about what they are going to wear is when going to an interview and going on a first date. And even then, sometimes they don’t worry about those events. Dressing to impress is not usually high on a man’s list of priorities.

But, when going on a first date – if you ever want to make it to a second date – dressing correctly is vital. A woman will make a split-second decision on you based on what you are wearing. It’s not fair, but it’s the truth.

So, what do women want to see you in? Most importantly, women want you to be wearing something appropriate for the date and something that doesn’t make her look bad. If you are hearing a suit and she has on jeans, she will blame YOU! Thus, the first step in deciding what to wear is to figure out where you are going and what you are going to do. And, it is not unusual for a man to ask her date what she will be wearing. This shows that he wants to dress in the same fashion she is.

If you are going out to dinner, “dress casual” is probably appropriate. However, in different parts of the country that could mean different things. In the summer or in a tropical climate, dress casual could mean nice shorts and a polo shirt. In the winter, it may mean a turtle-neck, vest sweater, coat, and scarf. The best bet is to take your lead from her.

A few things to avoid on your first date: Don’t wear sandals. Men’s feet are generally not things women want to see on the first date. Don’t wear pants that sag so low that your underwear is showing. Don’t wear any attire with an offensive logo or slogan. And, unless you are going to a baseball game, leave the baseball cap at home.

Wear clean socks, clean underwear (you never know what might happen!), pressed shirt and pants, and make sure your shoes are clean and appropriate for the rest of your outfit. Don’t wear tennis shoes with pants!

If you still aren’t sure what to wear on your first date, call your mom! She’ll dress you so that no woman could turn you down.

Of all the things that technology has brought us over the past decade or two, online dating has perhaps made the biggest difference in the everyday lives of people. Those who used to sit at home alone on a Friday night, can now get on their computer and find someone to go out with. No need to head down to a bar by yourself!

Studies show that the majority of people find their mates at work at school. But for those of us who are long past school, and don’t work in a traditional setting, that doesn’t work. Schoolteachers rarely find their mates at work. Prison guards rarely find theirs either! There are many occupations where contact with the opposite sex is limited, or where the contact is not the kind of contact you would want in a mate.

Bars and pubs are great places to meet a mate, but only if you’re a drinker. If you don’t drink, or don’t want to spend your evenings around drunk people, bars might not be your thing. Some people meet their mates in church, but if you aren’t a church-goer, you’re out of luck, too.

So for those of us who are non-drinkers, non-religious, and don’t work in mainstream business occupations, online dating is absolutely perfect.

By online dating, you can find someone who suits you on different levels. Some sites, like Match.com will match you and your date based on your personality traits, likes and dislikes, and hobbies, etc. Eharmony.com matches dates based on spirituality and chances of a successful long-term relationship. In fact, Eharmony doesn’t even show you your date’s photograph until well into the online dating procedure.

Overall, online dating is the fast-track to a date. You can search for someone by location, hobby, size, color of eyes, or occupation. You can find a rich guy or girl, or someone who likes to swim. You can find someone who shares your particularly strange brand of religion, or you can find someone who loves cats as much as you do. By narrowing down the field to people who fit what you think is essential in a relationship, you are off to a great start in a relationship.

As Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” How true is that? If you have ever told someone a lie and been caught in it later, you know what I’m talking about.

When meeting singles, there is simply no other option than to be honest. That doesn’t mean, of course, that you need to tell the “whole truth”, but what you do tell needs to be truthful.

During my dating years, I have caught numerous dates in lies. And once someone has lied to me, that is it for them. In the beginning of a relationship, when a person should really be on their toes, showing their best side, a lie is not a good sign of things to come. A man or woman who will lie to you early in your relationship will definitely lie to you later on.

William Shakespeare’s take on honesty was this, “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” You may not think of your legacy as something very important right now, but nothing will ruin your reputation with all members of the opposite sex than an ex-date who says you were dishonest. A reputation like that is not easy to overcome.

Of course we all know we should be honest, and sometimes it is not the easiest thing to be. We might be asked to answer questions that we know the date doesn’t want to hear, but honesty really is the best policy. If you answer with a lie, then that is a lie you will have to remember, perhaps for the rest of your life. Better to answer honestly, accept the consequences now, and never have to remember who you told what to.

There is no doubt that honesty is the best policy – not just when meeting singles, but throughout your entire life. No advantage gained by telling a lie is worthy, and the cost of keeping a lie to yourself will hurt you in the long run.

Remember when you were a child and your mother caught you lying? Remember how you couldn’t look her in the eye? She knew, even then, that averting eye contact is a sure fire way to spot a liar.

Excessive eye contact, on the other hand is equally disturbing. Wild animals will challenge each other simply with eye contact. People do that, too. A person who stares at you is challenging you, maybe not to a death match, but challenging you to avert your gaze first – so they win.

Eye contact is extremely powerful and you need to know how to use it properly in order to attract mates, and not scare people away. Most importantly, you need to be able to look at someone in the eyes without feeling uncomfortable.

When consciously making eye contact, think about why you are doing it? Are you doing it so that the other person knows you are sincere? Do you want them to feel you are confident? Do you want them to know that you are interested in them? If so, then you are using it in the right way and you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Eye contact, if used for positive purposes, is always good.

There are some cultures that think eye contact is rude. The Japanese are often told to look below the eyes, to avoid eye contact. Muslims have very specific rules regarding eye contact which is strictly adhered to, even among many Muslims in this country.

But for most people eye contact is viewed as a positive sign of personal involvement and creation of a bond. By looking your date in the eye while speaking or listening, they are getting the message that you are genuine, can be trusted, and are interested in them. With this knowledge alone, you should never feel uncomfortable.

Body language is perhaps the most powerful signals you will ever receive and send. Your voice may say one thing, but if your body is saying another, it is your body that will be heard. The good news is that you can use body language to your advantage and manipulate the feelings and actions of others to come more into line with how you are feeling.

If you are on a date, and you are interested, it is no secret that by moving closer, you are sending a message. You’ve seen it before when someone does it to you. Sometimes they do it consciously, sometimes not. What you need to do is make sure you use body language on a conscious level and be aware of each and every motion you make.

To make a date feel at ease and become more comfortable with you, there are several motions you can make, and they all start with your hands. Women who play with their hair, unknowingly, are sending sensual messages of attraction to their partner. A man who luxuriously plays with his glass or bottle is doing the same thing. These playful hand motions are signals.

By keeping your hands out in sight of your date (rather than sitting with arms crossed or with your hands in your pockets), you are telling your date that you are comfortable. However, a date who puts their hands in front of their face, their mouth, or keeps a drink up to their face is actually creating personal space – so back off.

Your body itself sends a language all its own. If you are slouched in a chair, you may be comfortable, but you are sending a signal that says you aren’t really interested. A man or woman who leans into their dates to listen is showing interest and caring. This is a good sign, indeed.

The best way to make a date feel comfortable, however, is to feel comfortable yourself. And if you don’t feel comfortable – for instance, if you are nervous – tell them so. By both of you admitting you are nervous, perhaps you can just laugh about it and move on.

One of the biggest fears that most people have is that the first date will be awkward. And honestly, it often is. But that is because little preparation is done, and as we all know, practice makes perfect.

When going on a first date, you are rarely aware of any subject you may have in common. You may both live martial arts movies, but you don’t know it yet. You may both love reading John Steinbeck, but until you get on a conversation about books, that will remain a secret.

Before going on your date, put the time in and prepare for your date. A date generally has three parts – the first awkward phase, the middle where the death lull can occur, and the end when true awkwardness sets in. No matter how you look at it, a first date doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.

But, if you come prepared with a plan, hopefully you can alleviate some of your fears and keep the conversation going. You need to have a few subjects up your sleeve, and ready to go, just in case conversation doesn’t flow naturally.

During the beginning of your date, talk about your day, your date’s day, the weather, or any subject that you both have in common. If you met at work, talk about work. If you met through mutual friends, talk about them. Use them as a springboard to another subject.

During the middle of your date, when you are searching for subjects, ask your date about their life, their family, and their friends. Nothing personal, of course, but basic information in a non-interrogative way. Try not to ask closed-end questions (questions that can be answered with a “yes” or a “no”), and listen attentively for subjects to bring up later.

The end of the date is always awkward, whether you want to see the date again or not. If you are interested in seeing the person again, this is the time to ask them out. If you can steer the conversation toward movies or food or sports, these topics can easily be turned into an invitation to a meal, movie, or event.

We all know that first dates can be hell, but if you prepare, you may find that they are a lot of fun.

One of the most difficult things about a new relationship is getting comfortable with each other. Unless you work together or have known each other since childhood, chances are that you will have awkward moments in the beginning of your relationship. Even before you have gone out on that very first date, there is the necessity for small-talk. So, how do you do it?

The first mistake that most people make when talking to a new person is divulging too much personal information. A woman who discusses her “ex” with a man on a first date is danger. Stay away! A man who tells a woman how “good in bed” he is – well not only is he equally dangerous, he’s creepy. Don’t be that person – keep the conversation light and casual.

Another mistake is bringing up subjects that are bound to cause controversy. Religion and politics (unless you are already positive you know the other’s preferences) are taboo subjects in the early part of a relationship. There is no need to start a fight (as women call it) or a debate (as men call it) on the politics of the day. Leave it for another time.

I once had a date who came with a long, written list of questions to ask me. Where did I grow up? Why did it take so long for me to graduate? Why was I not married? The interrogation didn’t last long and nor did our relationship. Don’t question your date about their past or their personal life – it’s rude and disrespectful.

That being said, breaking the ice is not difficult. Show the person your personality. Be fun. Smile. Laugh. More than that, make sure the signals you are sending are positive. If you are slouched back in your chair, with your legs and arms crossed, the signal you are sending is that you are not approachable and that you are challenging your date. On the other hand, if your date is leaning in to you, playing with your coffee cup, or sharing your dessert, the signals are clear.

If you know anything about your date, ask them about it. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves, so let them do all the talking. Everyone also loves a listener, so it’s “win-win” for you! Put a subject on the table and let your date do the work.

Everyone always says that to love another you must love yourself first. And, to find a perfect mate you must know who you are first. Don’t we all already know who we are? Well, maybe you don’t.

Getting to know yourself cannot be accomplished by spending a weekend with yourself on vacation. It takes years, experiences, relationships, hardships, challenges, and losses. By going through life, you learn more and more about you and what you need and want in a relationship.

You have probably spent plenty of time thinking about what you want in a mate. He or she is someone who is kind, gentle, funny, tolerant, energetic, exciting, or has any number of personality traits. But have you ever tried to describe yourself? Better yet, ask your friends to be honest with you and tell you what they think you are really like. You may think you are funny but someone else may tell you that you actually aren’t. Alternatively, you may think you are miserly, when your friends think you are generous. Try and get some honest evaluations about what others think of you and compare that to what you think of yourself.

Then, take a look at the people you have surrounded yourself with. Assuming these are friends and family, what is it that you enjoy about them? What is it that you like? What is it that they like about you?

Once you have an idea of who you are and who people believe you to be, you need to start thinking about relationships in a long-term sense. You may want a young, energetic mate now, but that won’t be important when you are both 50 years old. What is it that you need in a mate on a long-term basis. Most people choose traits like loving, considerate, trusting, honest, adventurous, or easy-going as the traits of someone they want to spend their life with.

But until you get to know who you are, finding someone else is almost pointless. A successful relationship will almost be accidental. By making intentional choices after deciding who you are and what you want, you will find a mate that you can live with for life.

Everyday you hear men and women complain, “I can’t seem to meet
anybody!”  What is wrong with the world today, that lonely and
horny singles can’t meet up and find romance?  While it may seem
that it’s hard to meet someone, in actuality the statistics are
overwhelmingly positive that we can and will meet someone
available in the very near future.  The problem is that some
singles tend to psyche themselves out of dating and complain that
there aren’t “any prospects”, when in actuality they sabotage
their own success.

Let’s discuss the situation realistically.  The truth of the
matter is that we are not looking to meet just anyone.  You can
probably think of two or three examples of people you know who
probably “would” if you let them, but who just aren’t the type of
lover you want.  Therefore, you must either accept the fact that
(A) you have high standards and are willing to wait for the right
person to come along or (B) you are letting many opportunities
pass you by.

If the problem is (A), then consider taking a more proactive
approach to dating.  Don’t be content just waiting for the right
person to come along.  Someone will come along, but why wait
months on end just for someone who is incompatible?  Why not take
practical steps to meeting the right kind of person?  Start
traveling out to where you’re more likely to meet the perfect girl
or the dashing hero of your dreams.

For example, if you are a man looking for a physically beautiful
woman with a great body, then start exercising more often.  Join a
health club and behold the many healthy and athletic women that
will be your sweaty neighbors.  What if you’re a woman and want to
meet a man that is smart, fun and uninhibited?  Are you still
hanging around bars?  Why not join an acting class, a book club or
go to the museum?  Are you stuck in a dead-end job where it’s the
same old customers every day?  Find a new job and give yourself
over to new opportunities.

Wait a minute, what if you’re not into the typical bar scene and
want a more serious relationship instead of just a fling?  (Sorry
for using the word “horny”, Father)  If that’s the case then
you’re probably right in thinking that you’re not going to meet
Mr. Right in a place inhabited by lowlifes and beer chuggers.  Try
volunteering for a worthy cause, reaching out to the people in
school or church, or even joining an exclusive singles club.  (For
example, there are clubs that cater to certain faiths or
lifestyles)  Don’t worry about feeling awkward.  Some of the best
organized clubs actually arrange for dances, getaways and group
activities to make the situation more comfortable.

Some singles have stated that keeping a pet is a great way to
break the ice with attractive prospects.  Now that you have to
walk the dog everyday, you have a good excuse to get out and about
and to look your best.  Cute pets naturally attract compliments
and interaction from other people.  If you can be as charming as
Old Maxie, then your success in dating will improve!  If you don’t
want the responsibility of pets then try and think outside the
box.  Think of something that will get the attention of people in
general.  For instance, if you’re a woman and want to invite more
compliments try riding around in a motorcycle.  Guys can’t resist
a chick on a hog!

Don’t deceive yourself into thinking that you can’t meet anyone.  
Deep down you may already know that you have had opportunities in
the past, but have resisted on acting upon them.  This is an
unhappy way to live and will not make you any new friends.  
Concentrate on meeting new people, as opposed to aggressively
dating.

Where are the best places to meet singles?  There are no “best”
locations.  It’s just a matter of going where the people are, and
scouting out locations to determine if your caliber of guy or girl
is going to be there.